It seems like the Southern Hemisphere is hogging all the wind at present. While the Lasers are enjoying champagne sailing conditions Down Under, we seem to be stuck in the doldrums back in the UK. The wind averaged 0.2 knots today. Frustrating, because we are only 7 days into the new campaign, and 3 of them have already been wiped out due to lack of wind.

 So how do we amuse ourselves without sail juice? Here’s a quick snapshot of today:

 - Palma Regatta is fast approaching, so sort out transport - attempt to book Ferry by phoning Spanish ferry company over a dodgy Skype connection. After the 8th attempt at giving the partially English-speaking customer rep my card details, fingers crossed it is booked, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

 - Kit out the Slug (our aptly-named Ford Transit Van) for its maiden European voyage. Ever optimistic, we think the boat will fit on the roof, so we spent about 5 hours padding out the roof bars. But again, I wouldn’t hold my breath!

- Replenish our woefully archaic toolbox - the equivalent of cleaning out the shed for normal people

Jonny decides to add some ‘flair’ to the process. Typical helmsman.

- We learn that the Coop is having a Buy One Get One Free on Soreen Malt Loaf. Along with Jaffa Cakes, Malt Loaf forms the staple of any serious athletes diet.  So, phone bank to get overdraft extended in order to stock up on 3 months’ worth. The Slug handles the heavy load with ease.

- Go for 90 minute run in the ‘fat burning’ zone. I’ve managed to drop by 5kg for the new season, but Jonny still has a few kilos to go. Sarah, I’m sorry but the beach muscles have gotta go, here is one last glimpse before they disappear for good…

Today’s Stats:

• Average wind speed - 0.2 knots
• Time on water - 0 hours 0 minutes
• Number of stores visited before finding adequate roof-bar padding - 8
• Number of Soreen Malt loaf needed to make human-sized valentine love heart - 36
• Percentage of females passed in Rochdale, under the age of 20, who weren’t pushing prams - 3%